“Reality Check” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

Blurred Image of Youth

As I approach the Golden Years,

of my Seniorship,

I have come to realize,

the reality check of my life.

She has been at my side,

for a very long time.

If it is within my heart to hear sweet chatterings,

of nothing special,

but cheerful flirtations,

turning to her with my sharing,

is not always the wisest thing.

A reality check would I surely get.

The other day was one of those days.

I was concerned about my aging appearance.

I asked her if I looked pretty good for a man of my age.

Her response was,

“Look into the mirror,

and you will see,

what sixty-seven looks like!”

That same night,

I was seeking a spoonful sleep.

As I layed my hand upon her waist,

her response was,

“Please remove that heavy hand,

from my waist,

it is too heavy upon my waist.”

It was truly on this day,

in my “Golden Age” that I guessed, 

what was now important in my life.

One was a “Good Dump,”

while the other was,

a “Good Night’s Rest.”   

“A November 11th, 2009 Celebration and Salute to Texas Veterans” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, Texas Commentator

This posting represents a November 11th, 2009 Veterans Day Salute and Celebration to my fellow Texas Veterans:

Click Link Below:

http://texaspoets.wordpress.com/a-salute-to-my-fellow-veterans-on-cedar-creek-lake-and-in-collin-county-texas/

A Foreclosure In McKinney, Texas (Beyond Expectations, and Value)

In McKinney, Texas there is a Foreclosure beyond expectations and value:  http://texaspoets.wordpress.com/a-beautiful-mckinney-texas-foreclosure/

“A Story About The U.S. Flag” Veteran’s Day November 11th, 2009, copyright 2005 John J. Rigo

Veteran

A True Story about a sharing of an incident with my fellow Air Force recruits.  In memory of all our veterans in celebration of Veteran’s Day on November 11th.

Back in 2004 and 2005, I was very involved in volunteer service in my HOA in the community of Eldorado, in McKinney, Texas.  At the time, I was given the opportunity of have a sub website under the servers of a national organization representing the interests of homeowners living in HOA communities  This major website and organization rendered me this sub website under their banner and servers, for the purpose of posting my own published poetry writing and further have the opportunity to encourage other poets to post on such a site. 

The sub site, internationalpoets.net became very popular.  In fact, in an eight month period, the site received over forty thousand hits.  The following link will take you to a story I posted at the time in celebration of Memorial Day.  It related my personal experience in basic training in my four years of active duty in the U.S. Air Force with a picture included.  Hopefully by going to this link, if you have not been in the military, in service for our country, it will give you insight to the great bonds that service personnel form: Click link

http://www.ahrc.com/new/index.php/src/news/sub/article/action/ShowMedia/id/2266

“Lord, What Does Thou Desire for the Rest of My Life?” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming poetry book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

A fish following the stream of life.

Going with the flow was the majority of my life.

Finally, twenty years ago, I gave my life to His care.

The blessings that followed,

were beyond my dreams.

I now face the last days of my life,

unsure of what is pleasing to my Lord.

Desiring only to finish my life in a way,

that will be His plan and wishes for His creation.

As each day passes,

I become more aware of the speck of dust,

I am in His creation.

To know that His presence in close to me,

and His Love, no less than any of His other creations,

only humbles me further.

I kneel in homage and worship to my Lord.

May I be so bold, as your humble servant,

to ask your guidance in how I can spent the rest of my life,

in bringing pride to my Father, 

who has given me life,

and the blessings of this life.

Lord, hear my prayer,

“Lord, What does Thou Desire for the rest of my life?”    

  

“Enforcement of Dock Light rules on Cedar Creek Lake Texas” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, Texas Commentator

To my faithful readers, my apologies that some of the first postings on my poetry blog site pertain to community issues.  My approach to life……..”Nothing gets better in life, till an issue becomes a concern community wise.”  What makes that happen is exposure of a consistent negative in a community, by web posts of this nature.

First, from my experience, the Tarrant county water district does an excellent job in fulfilling its responsibilities.  As a gentlemen, that I worked for many years, in my past, in Dallas, said to members of his organization, one day in a sales meeting,” I am not interested in hearing about what things you are doing right.  That is what you get paid for.  What I am interested in, what is it, that you are not doing right.?”  

In the three years that I have had our lake front home on Cedar Creek Lake, have I observed non enforcement of the dock light regulations.  To the left of my home are two docks, where I have observed that these lights are “Never On” in the evenings.  That includes a commercial piece of property, to the right of my property, along side,  part of the Payne Springs Bridge;  dock lights on this structure that are never on, in the evening hours.  On closer inspection, I have no doubt that signage requirements to list one’s home address on the front of these docks is also ignored. 

Since the  typical realtor on the lake will tell you today, the average open water lot today, 60X120 has a market value of about a quater of a million dollars.  That is without a dock, and in many cases a metal retaining wall, which by the way, has gotten very expensive to install.  This is without a home on the property!

It seems to me that if an individual ownes such a property, they can afford to follow lake regulations in insuring that these dock lights are on at night, as well as signage installed per regulations for the over all protection of night fishing persons.

My question to not only the Tarrant County water district but to all the commissioners of the various countries that encompass this lake……”Why is it that these regulations seem unenforceable, and this regulation breaking continues without substantial fines to the law breakers?”     

“If I Could Create The Perfect Poem” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

If I could create the perfect poem,

my poem would remove sorrow from the world.

Bring smiles where there were tears.

Mend broken hearts and return love again.

Replace all loneliness with the Joy of God’s Love.

Friends would never be lost again,

but be eternal in their friendships with us.

Each day would start with the songs of birds.

Each night would end with the sighs of night.

Every soul would find God,

and never again be separated from His Love.

Every kiss would be with true love,

and never of betrayal.

The Devil would be finally destroyed by God.

We would all reign in Paradise in the mist of joy,

……………………..forever.

 

“Feeding Birds at Cedar Creek Lake; A Danger to the Public” copyright 2009 by John J. Rigo, Texas Commentator

Thousands of birds on nearby docks.

Foreign object damage to flying craft by flying birds is a real danger in this day and age.  The Hudson River plane water-ditching in New York City is a good example of that.  It is suspected excessive hand feeding by citizens in the area caused unnatural flock movement of birds, there by causing the hitting of the plane against this particular flock of geese.  Hand feeding thousands of birds twice a day with a huge scope out of a  large bag of bird pellets, does nothing for the preservation of birds, nor for the immediate environment.

From my point of view, is is irresponsible to both wildlife as well as neighbors in a lakefront community.  This daily activity by waterfront residents, is a danger to the public in the Cedar Creek Lake area.  Unfortunately, I have a neighbor that commits this act twice a day, every day of the week. 

Do not misunderstand, I am not a bird hater.  I happen to be the owner, or let us say they own me, of two Blue and Gold Parrots.  One is actually sixty-five in human years, while the other is eighteen years of age.  The birds that we speak of that are fed each day are not your “Donald Duck” type bird, but a black type bird, affectionately called an “African Chicken.”  

Even their poop, is unlike any I have ever seen.  It a white, milky thick substance, that when it hits water leaves a circle where it falls of about four feet.  This is the discharge from just one bird, into our lake waters from a dock.  There are days, there are over a thousand of these birds on my neighbors dock from the twice a day feedings. 

There also has been days, that this has been to the extent that the birds were so crowded on the dock, that when one bird moved either way, it would push another bird off the dock, screaming in protest, as it fell into the water. What really turns the average person’s stomach is the color of their dock and their neighbors’ dock on the north side of them.  Both docks are solid white with bird droppings about two inches thick.  As the poop dries out, one can only guess the germs and different sicknesses that are released to the air in the area. 

In the three years, I have had my lakefront home, I have lost count, of the number of hours, I have spent, cleaning this bird poop off my dock, on my hands and knees with Brillo pads no less.  An ordinary water pressure hose will not clean the bird discharges off of my dock.  Today, I invested hundreds of dollars in tape that is suppose to keep birds off of my dock, beside two devices that emit high frequency sounds with a the use of a motion detector to keep them off of my dock.  

I can understand an elderly divorced person living alone, and requiring some form of company.  Since they already have two dogs and several cats, I would think this lake-bird bonding would not be necessary for them, especially with the cost of feed and the unbalance it causes to nature at the lake.  

What this individual does not do, is obey the local laws governing Cedar Creek Lake by the Tarrant County Water District.  This pertains to have a safety light burning each night on their waterfront dock.  I would assume funds for the electricity necessary to do this, are spent on huge bags of bird feed each month.  With numberous requests and warning letters from the Tarrant County Water District requesting that the law be followed in having these dock lights for the safety of boaters on the lake, they continually ignore doing so.  Could all of this be an indication of a certain lack of respect for others, as well as law enforcement in general? 

Considering the huge cost involved in owning a lakefront home with a dock on Cedar Creek Lake, it seems to me, that either the county or the water authority of Tarrant county could make this kind of situation a violation of local ordinances, with substainal fines running into the thousands of dollars.  This would be in lieu of the current $25 dollars,  after a few warnings.  There is no doubt, that such an ordinance with teeth, would benefit the health of those who live at the lake.  There is also no doubt, that it would also benefit the balance of nature at Cedar Creek Lake. 

One of the most beautiful sights to behold, is hundreds of birds fishing in the middle of the lake, as they form a huge circle and hit the water, with wings flapping to drive fish toward them to feed upon.  This is how nature intended our fair feathered friends to feed. 

“It Was My Sweet Jesus” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

It was my sweet Jesus,

who brought me to the light,

from the darkness place in my life.

It was my sweet Jesus,

Who loved me,

and kept me safe,

when no one cared,

whether I lived or died.

It was my sweet Jesus,

Who protected me against,

the darkest of evils,

that befell my life. 

It was my sweet Jesus,

Who showed me the beauty of heaven,

when I no longer believed in Him.

It was my sweet Jesus,

Who answered my prayers,

when I cried out in pain and agony.

It was my sweet Jesus,

Who brought joy to my heart,

and hope for my soul.

It was because of my sweet Jesus,

that the eternity before me,

is now filled,

with the promise,

of His eternal Love for me.

“Good Wins This Day” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book “Passion Amidst Apathy”

The shining armour of light deflected evil this day.

Evil looked upon itself and reeled back in disgust of its own image.

The blade of right was swift and unseen by the evil ghost.

Spilled upon the dark mirrored floor was Evil’s own horror.

Rivers of corruption flowed from Evil’s heart,

To a place of darkness,

only known to him.

Where light will never enter,

and the pain of lonilness,

will forever be enduring.

Good has won this day.

Forever gaining strength,

to do battle,

another day.

 

“The Journey” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

A Ship in the sea of life.

riding each wave of life,

seeking the warm sun of each day,

the beauty of each dream as night falls,

is never lost,

as it heads toward the curve

of each horizon.

Storms will blow,

onward do we flow

in love and courage

by His Hand.

Tomorrow brings the knowing in His love,

the vastness of the ocean

is not so alone.

As long as we believe,

we will never be alone,

for His love

surpasses all of this,

this and time beyond

this brief sea of life.

“The Question,” The Master Series, copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

A beautiful day beckoned.

The sides of the hills were golden

with fields of grain. 

The Cypress trees were green

among great expanses of gleaming, flat rocks.

An ideal day born for the enjoyment of the sun,

and the wondrous words of the Master.

The crowd began to thin toward the afternoon sunset.

The Master was weary.

Many were the questions of the day.

The answers required much of His strength to loudly speak

The words of wisdom to the crowd.

As the Master prepared to depart,

a young man in the crowd shouted a question

in His direction.

The Master’s followers tried to quiet the man

to preserve their Lord’s voice.

They knew He was exhausted from the

long day of preaching.

The young man shouted again,

“Master, what can I in my life that would be

pleasing to my Lord and God?”

 In hearing this question,

the crowd stopped movement

in their departure.

The crowd turned as one toward

where the Master stood.

Raising up to His full height,

the Master looked over the crowd

with the kindest of smiles and He said,

“The mirrors of your own souls are within the eyes of

your brothers and sisters.

If you see hunger in those eyes around you,

break the bread and share it.

If you see sorrow,

share your tears with your brethren.

If fear overcomes your neighbors,

stand with them,

for numbers overcome fear.

Above all of these,

love your neighbor,

as you love your children.

My love protects your brethren,

as it protects you.

This sharing of your love in my Father’s name

will be pleasing to your Lord and God,

In this sharing of your love without reserve,

without reward,

without a counting,

will you be given,

the glories of eternity.”

These words were spoken this day 

by the Master of my life.

“There Are Many Doors” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

He stood quietly in the room.

His voice, though low in tone,

seemed to rock the air about Him.

The words were gentle and with love.

Pointing to the doorway, He said,

“There are many doors to eternity;

any doorway can be the right doorway to enter,

if entered with love and faith in God.

He will guide you and protect you in your travels.

First, you must learn to give complete

and unselfish love to Him.

Second, you must render complete faith in your Lord,

for whatever befalls you,

the Lord will stand at your side,

and you shall overcome,”

so spoke, the Master of my life.   

“What Can I Do This Day?” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

The road we travel is not the same road for all of us.

When you see someone in pain.

Reach Out!

Give some part of yourself to make their day,

a day filled with less pain.

Love goes beyond just words in our daily life.

We need to give beyond ourselves.

Reach Out!

Give a part of yourself.

You will only become more human

in your caring and giving.

Reach Out!

You too, have felt the pain of loneliness

and deep blackness.

Love came to you in blessings you never thought would be.

They came to you.

Reach Out!

Remember to share your fortune.

We are one,

that is the soul of all of us.

“Yea, Through the Grace of God, Go I” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

I have been where you are,

a hell of loneliness and despair.

Had I created this place in my past,

as you are now, where I was once?

I ask myself what pains cross your mind,

as this day of many comes to you?

Do you hunger?

Are you without sleep?

The night only brings fear for your life.

Are you without anyone who cares

where you are this day?

Are you missed?

I, too, have been where you are.

From ashes of the mind did thou raise me,

from a pit of worldly hell.

It was not my talents of mind

nor spirit that lead me from this dark world.

It was my prayers.

You never failed to hear me,

when I cried out to you.

When I tried to end this life,

you spoke gently to me,

asking me to be patient

and wait one more day.

One day lead to another.

Finally, the sun began to shine again,

in your blessings and your love for me.

Thank you Lord,

for giving hope to the hopeless,

as you gave to me.

Thank you Lord,

for loving me when I was without love.

Yea, Lord, without your grace,

would now I be lost.  

“If I Should Die Before You” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

If I should die before you,

I will await you on a silver beach,

with a golden sun.

If I should die before you,

time will not move,

until your steps are heard behind me.

I will know it is you.

I will hear your eternal breath,

your low laughter as you approach

to join me.

If I should die before you,

on the most perfect of days,

together, we will watch the waves,

the breakers, making only the most

perfect of patterns

in a world that never has a bad day,

on a silver beach

with a golden sun,

in a special place,

for you and me.

“Beyond Pain and Into Love Again” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

When such pain goes beyond

metal against metal,

pushing and tearing,

beyond the tolerances of strength.

Truly, oh, what passion

lies within thee,

when finding release again,

in one who will truly love you again,

in the truth of their spirit and heart.

Heart be still,

mind, be of strength,

love awaits.

This time to carry you beyond

the eternal doors of joy and happiness.

“Realization” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Multicolored lighting amidst the sound

of rhythmic thunder  pounded the huge hall.

The laughter and droning noises had a hollow, metallic sound.

The human Ferris wheel was in motion around the center spoke.

Quick glaces, smiles…some real, other’s set in concrete faces.

There was quiet desperation set in the eyes of many.

Touching in passing moments of movement were soft, warm bodies

pressed against arms, hips brushing fingertips.

Out of loneliness I sought this place,

a passenger on a self-made time machine.

I am tired of too many futures coming to this moment.

I want the warmth of my youth.

Child-book romance, where just the touch of a hand,

freezes time in its beauty.

Primitive drums change tempo,

the words are lost to the sensation of physical self.

Reality is moved to the edge of pulsating light beneath

the feet of bodies in tune with the sound.

Paired dancers locked in self-love,

and unaware of each other.

A checkerboard of kings and queens without mates,

in a game without end. 

Surrender, whispers the voice within.

A reflection on a mirrored wall looks intently,

at a standing figure.

A misplaced look of aging shown in

salt and peppered hair, with growing signs of age,

around the eyes,

the dream of youth shatters.

The Guardian of Time Present,

leaves through the portal marked “Exit.”

The dream is no more.

“My Journey” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

I have walked through the waters of sorrow.

Tears, blocking the sun of day,

as I stumbled each step of the way.

My voice softened to a whisper of sound,

in calling my Lord.

I am weary from pushing these feet,

wanting to rest, but cannot.

Was the answer I seek finally before me?

It was only when I finally gave up on me,

and turned to thee, that the answer awaited me.

Only through sorrow and pain,

can we know what Jesus gave us through His death.

Death of the mind, death of desire, death of worldly want,

only then can we surrender to His will,

and give up our own,

do we find Him, in the midst of eternal love.

A garment of light to carry us forward,

so that we never will shed a tear again.  

“We Only Come This Way…Once” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

We only come this way…once,

with only one gift

to give to others.

The gift is ourselves.

Without payment or reward,

we give our all for some cause,

more worthy than self.

What could be a finer or more treasured gift?

In giving, we are passing on the greatest of gifts,

which was taught by one,

a very long time ago.

He gave His life to grant eternity for our souls.

His wonderful gift has neither equal nor comparison.

We can only try to reflect His treasure in our own human weakness,

by trying to give the gift of our love to humanity.

True love, in Jesus’s character,

is unselfishly placing others,

above ourselves. 

“Remembering You” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming Book III, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I am glad I am here,

to remember you.

In recalling our time together,

there were many joys.

There were also times of sorrow,

we shared in those times.

We had something very special,

in the friendship we shared.

It has been many years,

since you passed on,

still,  I think of you,

each day,

and remember. 

“The Tree of Life” copyright 2007 John J. Rigo upcoming Book III, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I carved our initials in the Tree of Life.

What value has love, in ‘death, do us part?’

Is love a flash of light in the long darkness of night?

Flesh to flesh in being born,

then death, without memory,

unable to behold,

to recall at will in deep detail.

Will thoughts become ashes,

that are scattered in a soft wind?

My love to you, dearest one,

is forever more,

upon the Tree of Eternal Life,

from the first garden,

of eternal promise.

A promise of Love,

never lost,

but always remembered,

in the heart of our Lord,

that will never be lost,

or forgotten,

in the passing of time. 

“Passion” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Is not passion, part of being human,

part of the eternal of all of us?

Burn on, those ancient memories of love,

never lost, but remembered in the heat

of the mind, felt in the heart, living in the soul.

Let me live, knowing that once, or many times,

was I truly loved, beyond all of this,

to where there is a place special to only us.

A place that my hand never feels alone.

My breast never aches for your touch.

My loins never feel the cold of night.

In that love that binds us,

forever held in each other’s arms.

Through this time, forever in our one love,

beyond end, forever to be always,

you and me.

“Fear Not” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Fear not in returning to the den of thy enemies,

the Lord is thy shield against all thy enemies.

The Lord has declared the destruction

of all those,

who curse you,

slander you,

plot against you,

and attempt to destroy you.

Return to the den of thy justice,

and tribulation in hand.

Watch,

as justice is carried out,

as the heads of thy evil enemies,

roll beneath your feet. 

“Life Has It’s Moments” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming Book III, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I awoke with a start this A.M.

One thirty in the morning,

like it was getting up time.

My mind reviewed my life,

in what seemed a ten minute review.

I realized that my happiness,

was not an on going thing,

but living each day with punches

of emotion from time to time.

Flashes of awareness of time

coming to a dimming light.

I thought of shopping

at the grocery store

the other day.

The dark haired young lady,

a black sweater,

jeans, and flowing

black hair.

Passing me in the aisle,

both of us,

avoiding the other’s eyes,

afraid to confront the other,

in passing.

At the last moment,

we looked at each other.

Her face flashed into an

explosion of a smile toward me.

All I could do,

was sheepishly,

smile back.

I thought,

“What is this old fart,

smiling at this beautiful,

young woman;

what does she see in me,

to bring such a smile?”

Perhaps she saw,

the ghost of my youth passing.

At that moment,

I thought,

“Life has it’s moments,

flashes of insight coated in

sheer delight and happiness,

a sliver of time,

in our daily lives.”   

“Often, I Think Of You” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

Often, I think of you

in the time of our youth,

when it was just us.

Sunshine glowed when we were together.

The grief of our former lives made us a pair.

Then, our lives were simpler,

filled with few things,

but rich in much love.

Somethimes I wonder if you think of me on occasion.

Did you put aside, as I have,

the separation of our love,

the anger,

the hurt,

that we both suffered?

Beauty is in those memories.

The thoughts of us at that time are sweeter

and more beautiful when they cross my mind.

In daydreams of simpler times,

my thoughts question where you are now

and did you find happiness?

Did you have the children, that we never had?

Althought many years have passed,

I send to you my love from a former time,

with blessing for your happiness.

I also send my wish and hope,

that in the eternity to come,

we will meet as loving friends.

Until then, often, I will think of you.

“Tears of Recall” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

Sometimes, a tear comes to my eye.

At first, I know not why.

Then it comes,

the links of the past.

Moments of tenderness,

of love,

that seen imprinted

forever in my soul.

It has not been with so much as one,

but many,

in the links together,

in a chain of life.

Some moments were of extreme sadness,

some joy beyond belief,

some with the surprise of a child,

in discovering something.

A light ignited within me,

that before, was not there.

It was just a moment,

a look into the eyes of another,

that said that these few seconds,

were very special.

A touch unlike no other.

The tear is for the longing of such moments,

and time spend

in just loving another,

in those special ways,

that will never go away.

“A Conversation about Life and Death” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

The Master’s hands were strong and hard

from years of work as a carpenter,

just like his father.

The creation of His hands had a gentle quality

such as the toy camel and shepherd

He was crafting this night.

His sister had begged Him to make a toy for her child.

With love and humor, He worked several nights.

In the back of the villa, the room was small and cramped,

making the carving difficult as the oil lamp light flickered.

Entering the doorway with a quiet sweep of the door blanket,

came His sister’s oldest son.

Many questions burned in the mind

of this young man on this night.

Quietly, he approached the Master

so as to not disturb His carving.

The young man whispered,

“Master, do you have time to speak with me?”

Gently and with love, the Master set the little wooden carving

aside and reached for the boy’s shoulder saying,

“What is troubling you this night,

son of my sister?”

The boy replied,

“I am afraid about death

and where I will go when I die,

since no one alive,

has ever been to the place that dead people go,

and returned.

How am I to know what to expect?”

With patience and the deepest of kindness

toward the concerns of the young man,

the Master spoke,

“Telling humanity of the world beyond death

would be like explaining

the sight of sunrise or sunset to a person

who had always been blind,” and He further explained,

“Beyond our lifetime is a world inconceivable to the

senses of man,

beyond every gift rendered in this world around us. 

It is a world of being in the midst of eternal love

and never fearing again.

It is knowing light beyond any light we now know of

in this world.

It is never being alone again,

but cherished in the arms of a mother,

so will it be in the arms of our God forever

in eternal love,

peace and happiness.”

So He spoke to me,

the Master of my life.  

 

“The Death of my Daughter” Part One, copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Author’s note: Posting this poem is very difficult for me, hence the reason I must post it in parts. I appreciate your patience in reading it.

…………………………………………………………………………………

The first time I saw Rhonda, she was nine.

A dirty face, she had, that looked up at me with a look of loss,

and string long hair, in a badly worn homemade dress.

Her feet, without shoes, looked like they had not been washed in a week.

She could have easily posed for an adoption poster.

You know the kind, with the desolate landscape in the background.

I had dated her mother for about a month.

She never told me about these other two children,

the ones her aging elderly parents were keeping for her.

One morning, as I awoke from her bed,

she had already left early for work,

and left a note on the dresser.

The note said, “I now this will be over for us.

I never told you this,

but I have two more children,

and not just one, in my six year old boy.”

(to be continued)

“The Death of my Daughter” Part Two, continued….. copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

The note went on,

telling of her love for me,

telling of her fear of losing me.

An apology for not telling me about the children,

when she first met me.

She revealed the truth of her lie,

that she had three children,

not just one.

That evening when I stopped by her place,

I could see the tears,

the fear in her eyes.

I said, “Let’s meet those two other children.”

(to be continued) 

“The Death of my Daughter” Part Three, continued…copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

As the beginning of this poem indicates,

there was Rhonda,

her eight year old brother,

standing next to her,

who looked even more pitiful

with his bowl haircut.

It was Rhonda,

who took my heart away that day.

Fourteen years latter,

shortly after Rhonda graduated from college,

with her proud Master’s Degree in Music Education,

I divorced her mother.

(to be continued) 

“The Death of my Daughter” Part Four, continued…..copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Rhonda and I went out to lunch

prior to the divorce date from her mother. 

Rhonda Lewis was her name.

She turned out to be a beautiful woman.

Her hair was long,

blond and beautifully cut.

Her eyes were a strong blue,

with a direct look of confidence.

As I spoke to her that day,

she looked at me as a detached doctor.

There was no emotion in her eyes.

I told her,

I could not love her any more,

if she were my own daughter.

I wanted desperately to keep my relationship with her,

as her father.

Her words came from her lips like a sword to me.

“I cannot do that,” she said,

“I must remain loyal to my mother.”

I explained I understood that would always love her mother,

her feelings had nothing to do with my feelings,

for she would always be “my little girl.”

Her mind was firm.

I was left in ashes.

(to be continued) 

“The Death of my Daughter” Part Five, continued….copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

I heard later,

that Rhonda had her PhD in Education,

and was teaching in a college in Arkansas as a professor.

It was twenty years latter,

from the date I divorced her mother,

the phone call came to my home,

while I was away on a business appointment that afternoon.

My wife took the phone call.

The neighbor said,

“I am sorry about your husband’s loss,

can I bring this dish over?”

My wife remarked,

“But my husband does not have a daughter,

you are mistaken.”

(to be continued)

“The Death of my Daughter” Part Six, continued….copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

That evening when I came home,

my wife related the call.

“Daughter! I don’t have a daughter, Oh my God!

Could it be Rhonda,

my little girl?”

It was evening.

Rhonda had just finished teaching a class.

She was talking to her fiance’ on her cell phone.

They had planned to be married in a week.

She was walking with a “walk” light,

across a quiet street,

when the drunk,

high on drugs,

hit her as his truck sped through the red light.

Witnesses at the scene said the impact

cut off both her legs,

and carried her over two hundred feet,

before the truck crashed into a tree,

further down the street,

crushing her tangled body,

on the front bumper of the truck.

Rhonda died at the scene,

in the caring arms of a stranger.

She was a beautiful woman of forty-two,

with all her life before her.

We had not seen each other in over twenty years,

she was my little girl then,

and she still is now, my little girl.

Rhonda will always be the little girl

who looked up to me with eyes that said,

“Take me home and love me,

for I am now,

your little girl.”  

Question? copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

A singular line horizontally drawn.

Above, a blue sky.

Below, a deep ocean of blue.

It it the end of the world,

or the beginning of another?

Standing still,

there is no answer.

Only by moving forward,

do we realize there is more

beyond a singular line.

Attitude?

Perspective?

Are they not one,

and the same?

“After All This Time” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming “Passion Amidst Apathy”

After all this time,

my mind still turns to you.

Our love of embers still burning

in the halls of my memories of you.

Still reaching for the feel of you,

next to me.

The sweet smell of you,

the sound of your sleeping breath,

bringing peace to my aching soul.

Where ever you may be this morning,

know out there in the cold cold night,

there is one who loves you

beyond all that is precious to me.

After all this time,

I still love you.   

“Whispering Trees” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

The trees,

nature speaking to us,

reminding us of a time

in the past.

A time when

men and women

were closer to God.

Closer to the beauty,

and sometimes the anger of nature,

but still beauty in all of its glory.

Yes, the trees still whisper

that we are still a part of all of this.

Nothing has replaced

our relationship with God.

All we need to do,

is take the time,

to listen to the trees.

“My Gift” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

 

My gift to you is neither gold or silver.

Diamonds can never hold the light of this gift.

Pearls will will never glow beyond the of this gift.

It is everlasting and eternal.

Within the gift is enclosed the song of angels.

Another part of the gift is the gentle breath of God,

given in love to his creatures.

In many ways, this gift has life within it,

as it changes and grows.

My only valued possession of priceless value is this gift.

I give you this gift freely without restraint.

Beyond death, it will always be yours.

I give thee my love, my love. 

“The Myth of Perfection” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Many have the belief that there is perfection this world.

It does not exist on this earth and plane for us.

We are only privileged to see, feel and hear parts of

perfection, but never the whole of perfection.

The pieces that represent the beauty of God and heaven

are shown in glimpses each day,

in our lives on this earth.

It is our soul that catches these flashes of eternity,

and renders us the perfection of God.

It is through prayer and centering ourselves in the

love of God, that we are privileged to gain knowledge

of the eternity that is before us.

“Love Recalled” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

If you and I met at a different time in space and place,

would we be more than people who passed formal greetings?

Would our eyes pierce the beauty of our souls,

beyond the imperfections of flesh, to the heart of us?

In your eyes, would I see more than me?

Would we know at that moment that something

wonderful was happening for you and me,

at a time in starless memory?

Could we have been lovers,

entwined in the depth of each other,

warm and soft against the cold days of black nights,

to rise together with joy and ecstasy?

Could we always have had a love

that had been one in unity for us?

The moment passes quickly.

My being reaches for that moment;

it is already gone.

“It Is Done” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo from poetry book, “Roses Amidst Thorns”

  ”It Is Done” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

The gate stood high and firm before the light of paradise.

It had been this way for thousands of years.

The only light revealed was the light of God

through its bars.

A sound of longing was heard

from the millions of souls before its barrier.

There seemed to be no hope for reunion with God.

The day of days,

the hour of redemption

finally came to this place,

beginning with a cry of joy

from these souls.

Beyond the gates a cross appeared,

equal to the height and width of the gate.

The joy formed a song of everlasting love

on the lips of these souls.

It was a song unlike any sound ever heard before

or since this moment.

The words, “It is done,” were heard above the song.

The gate was no more.

The souls of God’s creation were returned home.  

“Friends of a Lifetime” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

With the passing of time,

I have come to realize that there are truly

spaces that are never filled

by the loss of friends who were very personal

to my mind and heart.

Through the years, do the memories of Cliff and Tom

constantly come to my mind.

Never are they dead in my heart.

I see each of them, special, in their concern for me

as the friends they were to me and yes,

the love they rendered to me.

Have they been replaced in the void left by their absence?

No, that no one has accomplished.

Cliff was the short, large man from the deep South,

always with a tale of lesson and advice not wanted,

but when given, seemed well placed.

He spoke of home and craw-fish,

his Mother and his victories in life,

never of his losses.

You knew he was special,

a special person to know.

The same stories he related never got old,

just deeper in meaning.

The straight-laced, IBM type of guy was Tom.

He seemed to have found victories too early in his life,

burning, dying as a shooting star.

An anger was present about him that could never be explained.

Tom loved a good meal and good drinks.

Save the waiter or waitress who spoke too much while serving!

He was there to savor the moment,

should it be his last.

As Tom’s life was coming to an end,

he maintained his pride to the last minute in a VA hospital,

wearing a blue blazer that no longer fit;

no one cared about his past.

I miss Tom’s advice to me,

his laughter at my watch that he thought was such a great sales

job because I had to push a button

to tell time.

His loud laughter rang in the night,

raising high his special drink,

to wish me and all, the best of life.

I miss both of these men.

They were the special friends of a lifetime,

never to be replaced.

They are in my heart each day,

with the warmest of love to my dearest friends,

Cliff and Tom.

Whenever you both may be in the great wonder of it all,

I am one person,

who misses you both,

oh, ever so much.

“By This Path” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

By this path,

the Lord has brought me to the present.

By this path,

I have found His love for me.

Before I found this place in His love,

I was a lost sinner in the depths of sorrow and darkness.

By this path,

My Lord has brought me everlasting joy and His glory.

I have found him, or did He find me?

Bless this path.

Bless this day.

Blessed are we, who are truly in the mist of His love. 

“There Was a Certain Grace” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

There was a certain grace to the look of him facing death.

He did not seem to have succumbed to the idea of dying.

He stood tall and proud with a direct look into your eyes.

His bearing, his eyes, said many things.

His eyes said he had lived a life of honor and without shame,

as to who, and what he was, as a person.

If he was guilty of any deep emotion, it was to have loved too much.

He had loved many in his life, giving all he had to give

to each relationship, without a reserve held.

He was always the one hurt the deepest in the leaving.

If you ever knew him, you would never forget him,

whether for a few minutes or several years,

in the sharing part of a day with him.

He lived as a man, protecting the ones he loved.

He loved in the best of circumstances.

He loved in the worst of circumstances.

I am glad I got to know him on a personal level.

There were days of doubt in knowing this person.

“Yes” as one said about him in a dissenting way,

“He always came out smelling like a rose.”

You ask, “How did I know this man so well?”

It was easy knowing him, for you see, he was me. 

 

“What Is This Thing That Cries Out Within Me?” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

What is this thing that cries out within me?

Is it a spirit that hungers for freedom?

“Freedom from what?” my mind asks in cold, hard terms.

My life seems about things.

Things stack, things store away; a room full of things.

A bank account with growing numbers, but it seems,

it is all about the balances.

I look into the mirror because they say mirrors never lie.

What I see is not what I am.

I am like unto the spirit of youth locked in a dark, gray cell,

listening to the sound of time on the clock

growing more loudly each day.

I find myself dancing alone at times.

I love what the sound of music does to my body.

I go back to that mirror, with sweat dripping down my face.

I am still puzzled by the face that stares back at me.

There is a pleading look in my eyes.

They cry out, “See me, see me, I am not dead!”

A ghost I have become from growing older with time.

I move through my life seemingly untouched by the sounds

of laughter from my past, the smells of loving sweat,

the memory of gentle lips touching the back of my neck.

I feel like my body no longer remembers the joys of passion.

Yesterday, I sat in a room noticing many things.

They were little things, but important things, that let the gift of

beauty be shared by one such as me, hungry for their taste.

The gentle curve to a neck,

that seemed to never end.

The movement of material,

on a full soft breast,

as the breath of the beholder

played with the movement.

Eyes with color of the lightest blue,

with mystery whirling with their depths,

of thoughts yet unspoken or shared with anyone.

I heard that voice within me cry out, “See me, see me,

I am not dead, but alive! Hear my cry, feel my need, I am alive!”

I left the room without a word.

There was a slight smile on my face toward you,

as there was a similar smile on yours.

Silent thoughts unshared, upon our departure.

Two ships passing on a huge ocean,

with a wave of the hand toward each other

across desolate waves.

When will this voyage end?

What distant shores await each of us? 

“Early Twilight” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

As I reach the early twilight of my years,

I find myself constantly asking myself,

“Is there such a thing as happiness?”

My mind seems to look back,

more than forward.

I find myself remembering days of laughter

and a certain freedom.

I go back into my past and remember days when I was happy.

It seemed in those days there was an element of simplicity to my life.

In different ways, I try and reach for those moments in the present.

It is like reaching for life’s brass ring;

the moments are never there.

The price of reality and maturity is a heavy one.

The understanding of youth wasted on the young

now makes sense.

I look into the mirror and what looks back;

an old man.

Yes, in my heart there still lies the youth of my past,

ever playful is this heart,

alive with joy of the anticipation of each day.

Is this truly now, what my life is all about?

 

“You and Me” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

 

Beauty Departing

 

We sit quietly,

you and me.

I trace your lips

with the tip of my finger.

Your smile at my joy comes so easily to you.

The corner of your mouth dimples,

showing a special wrinkle that always speaks

beauty to me.

The pressure of your lips pressed on my hand,

is warm and safe,

with just a hint of passion

during a moonlight evening.

I kiss your neck,

ever so lightly,

with a breath in a rush of air upon your ears.

You then giggle and start to laugh.

With the rise of your breasts in a deep breath,

you reach and place your lips,

warm and soft against mine.

My heart pounds within my being.

I rest on your chest,

It is a perfect evening

with just you and me.

“I Had A Miracle Today” 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming book “Passion Amidst Apathy”

The item itself,

was of no great value.

It was a matter of principle with me.

Keeping track of things in my life,

seemed important to me.

It was my way of confirming to myself,

that I had control in my life ,

and over my life.

The truth was, I did not.

I looked for days

for that item.

Sometimes checking the same place,

more than a half a dozen times.

This was at a time in my life,

that I was asking God,

if my life was pleasing to Him,

and I was serving His will.

A place that I had looked into

many times before,

a black zippered bag,

I opened it,

and looked into it,

the sixth time.

To my utter surprise,

with a chill of discovery,

the item laid plainly

before my eyes. 

The item was now there.

Was it a miracle rendered to me?

Was I blinded to seeing it before?

Did God, give me sight,

where I had none before?

God speaking to me in His way?

Thank you God,

for hearing me,

for loving me,

and letting me know,

You are

truly God.

“Perfect Love” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

I have found the perfect love in Jesus.

He redeemed me with His love,

when I believed none was there.

As I left the earthbound,

material things of this world,

I was lifted up to the heavens.

Before me lay the gates of joy

covered with the tears of my redemption.

Awaiting my entrance were all the people

that I ever loved and deeply grieved their passage

from this earth.

Open arms did I find; hugs of love, was I given.

Upon entering those gates of joy,

beyond sight and time,

I saw a garden laid before me.

It was a garden of the trials and tribulations

of my life on earth.

They were but one small pea

compared to a field of His love.

I have found the perfect love in Jesus.

He redeemed me with His love,

when I believed none was there.

Now, I have been found.

  

“A Soldier’s Farewell” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

It is time to say goodbye.

I can see my sadness in your eyes.

Is this the goodbye kiss that will aways

be in your memory?

Press closer to me,

imprint my soul with your being.

Please do not look into my eyes,

the sadness will always be there,

until we are one again,

in our happiness. 

“I Broke Your Heart” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo future book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I broke your heart.

I know when the deed was done.

I knew then,

as I know now,

I was in love with you.

More afraid of failure,

than giving myself to you.

I still can hear in my soul,

the sound of your tears,

on the tape from that day.

Two hours of tears and screaming

my name in agony.

I was the center of your agony,

in my rejection of your love.

It has been twenty-five years,

since that day.

A day never goes by,

that my thoughts turn to you.

In my being,

I now know,

that the joy I knew with you then,

will only come again in my death,

and hopefully the joy of heaven.

If you are reading this,

at this very moment,

know this is one,

who will always love you.

“The Insight of Our Lives” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Ever so often,

God in His mercy,

renders us the insight

of our lives.

The purpose of all of this,

which most of the time,

remains hidden.

It is a way of keeping the gift before us.

A way to show us what we are here for,

and what is ahead.

A way of sharing the joy,

to encourage us,

to reward us,

to place us on the path of wholeness.

It is but part of second,

a flash of memory that lingers on,

leaving the shape of hope

and faith bound to us,

within the depth of us.

“Our Dance” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns” (Former winning poem in a Collin County, Texas writing contest)

What is the name of that song?

It does not matter, let us be silly and dance,

swirling and twirling across the floor.

Our youth flashes before our laughing faces.

Yesterdays move into the now of our beat together,

swirling steps into the footprints of ashen time.

For a golden time, our memories of the pain in our past is no more.

We have each other,

with our own very special song,

and our own very special dance. 

“The Journey” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

A ship in the sea of life.

riding each wave of life,

seeking the warm sun of each day,

the beauty of each dream as night falls,

is never lost,

as  it heads toward the curve

of each horizon.

Storms will blow,

onward do we flow

in love and courage

by His hand.

Tomorrow brings the knowing in His love,

the vastness of the ocean

is not so alone.

As long as we believe,

we will never be alone,

for His love

surpasses all of this,

this and time beyond

this brief sea of life.          

                                                                                      

 

                                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                     

“I Will Never Be Far Away” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

I will never be far away,

no matter where you are.

My heart will always be with you.

Never will you have to seek,

to find me,

for I will always be,

as close as your heart.

There is a special place,

for you and me,

a place that will never go away.

A place where each day is made for you and me.

A place where each day becomes an eternal string of pearls,

as we love,

and laugh through each setting sun.

Rising together,

each morning,

with a song upon our lips,

singing of our love for each other,

through this eternity,

and all others,

to follow.

“Memory” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns” (Note: to be considered PG13)

I closed my eyes:

The after-image of her was printed on the backside of my mind,

the look of her, neck bent backward, eyes closed.

That beautiful curve from her neck to the tip of her breast,

with a slight hint of sunrise upon the horizon of her smile.

As a spirit, I loved her,

unaware of my own physical feelings.

It seemed I could not satisfy my need

to give her my love.

The flow seemed forever.

From moment to moment, I explored her,

no part untouched or savored.

There was no shame in loving her.

We were eternal spirits reunited in the flesh of our eternity.

I opened my eyes:

I am haunted by her,

for the image remains.

“My Wish” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Within my soul beats the heart of my eternity.

Memories within a mind not forsaken,

nor to ever be forgotten.

Long kisses,

held close,

to the soul of us,

in love,

and in sadness,

still brings light.

That is my fate,

that is my wish,

that the beauty of this moment,

will forever be.

“Are You Out There?” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Within me lies the hope,

that you are out there,

waiting for me,

as I wait for you.

Days of sparkling laughter,

between us,

yet to be ours.

Days and nights of love and passion,

still awaiting our meeting.

Hasten time,

for it all goes by too quickly,

the time left to us,

as I await,

for my bride of hope,

love,

and laughter.

“A Terrible Thing to Waste” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

A heart is a terrible thing to waste.

If one comes to you with this offering,

do not scoff too quickly.

Love is a precious gift.

It is precious to the one who gives love,

and very precious to the one who receives it.

Do not be hardened to this gift.

Accept this gift with kindness,

and tenderness.

Love is the joy of life.

Love is the light of life.

Love is the soul of life.

Be thankful and gentle,

in the receiving of love,

even if this love,

is not the love you seek.

Remember, one day,

you will be judged as a human.

You will be judged to the degree that you loved.

More importantly,

how kindly you received love.

Love, in its many forms,

is God showing

His face to us.

A heart is a terrible thing to waste. 

“Perfect Love” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

I have found the perfect love in Jesus.

He redeemed me with His love,

when I believed none was there.

As I left the earthbound,

material things of this world, I was lifted up to the heavens.

Before me lay the gates of joy,

covered with the tears of my redemption.

Awaiting my entrance were all the people

that I have ever loved and deeply grieved

their passage from the earth.

Open arms did I find;

hugs of love, was I given.

Upon entering those gates of joy,

beyond sight and time,

I  saw a garden laid before me.

In the garden were the trials and tribulations

of my life on earth.

They were but one small pea

compared to a field of His love.

I have found the perfect love in Jesus.

He redeemed me with His love,

when I believed none was there.

Now, I have been found. 

“I Seek Not” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

I seek not praise or adoration,

just the warmness of your touch.

A friendship that seeks not reward

nor return.

A connection of understanding

between these gulfs

that separate us as humans

from different times and places,

even though we have not lived the same.

Love that overcomes all barriers between us,

without fear,

without reprisal,

to continue into time without limit for us.

To finally find,

at some point ahead,

the binding of our souls,

that will never leave us,

alone again.

“Singing In The Rain” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

I am singing in the rain with you.

Our feet dancing between the raindrops.

Our cares belong to tomorrow.

Our hands clenched while skipping over puddles.

Just singing in the rain together.

This is truly what love is all about.

You and me together,

with glistening raindrops,

upon our laughing faces.

This is truly our moment,

of our love together,

just signing and dancing in the rain.

“Why Did It Take This Long?” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Why did it take this long

to discover how much I love you?

All those days and nights are gone now.

I could have shared that time with you more deeply than I did.

Kisses rendered with soul, instead of obligation.

Why did not share my fears with you?

Had I gotten to the place, that fear of being a fool,

was more important, than sharing my soul with you?

I say to you, my friend, remember this,

“If love sits next to you each day,

render to that love,

praise and appreciation each day.”

In so doing,

your days will not be filled with regrets,

as my days are now filled,

with spent sorrow.

“Our Day” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

A bright blue sky day.

Water, with a spray of diamonds.

Rays of warmth upon my face.

You at my side,

with that special smile

that I love above all expressions,

that pass over your face each day.

Let us hold this close to us,

in what seems not enough time for

just the two of us.

Cherish this day,

love this day,

with all we have.

For we will never know,

how many,

if any,

of these days are before us.

We have each other,

with our love for one another.

What could be worth

more than just this day?

“A Special Prayer” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming book “Passion Amidst Apathy”

Lord, Bless this day.

Bless me.

Weaken my enemies.

May I be pleasing to You,

in rendering Your Word to others.

“Us” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Thorns”

I am only for you.

A kiss given here

or a caress there.

Together, our lives are a bouquet

marked by each petal of love

gently falling away

to our time together.

“Recalling” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

In all the things

thou are to me,

I remember now,

then recall latter

the twinkle of your laughter

as you followed me quietly,

as I ran from you in anger

over some silly thing.

There you stood

as I turned,

with the biggest

of our smiles.

It was your way

of saying,

“I am sorry.”

As I remembered now,

you knew more than anyone,

the many ways

one can say

“I Love you.”

Did I remember also to let

you know this in my heart,

at a time when it was

important to tell you

that I also love you,

oh, so very deeply. 

“Awaken To Love” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

Last night a dream entered my peace.

It was you, sobbing.

Crying for what could have been, 

but it was not.

Outside of your world everything seemed perfect.

To others, your world was without want.

It was not.

A part of your soul was seeking,

but not finding,

some special part of understanding.

The part that was compassion,

of tenderness,

that was not in your moment of being.

Was there hope to bind this wound,

a wound so deep?

My arms reached for you.

Held you tight with lips to your ear.

Whispered, I love you,

I care,

I know your pain,

and I will always be here for you.

You slowly smiled.

Sunshine filled the room.  

“Reunion” Copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming poetry book “Passion Amidst Apathy”

Today I thought of all the people

that touched my life with love.

Many are names remembered,

and many, sadly, names that have been forgotten.

To each of you, I render my love,

and eternal appreciation for sharing

a part of yourselves with me.

Many of you, I will never see again,

in this life.

Many of you, have passed from this life.

We shall all met again,

in God’s Love in our forever time together.

Cocoons for a short flicker of light,

before unfolding our wings in eternal flight.

“The Dark Angel Amidst Us” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

Amidst us stands the Dark Angel,

joyful at each victory gained against us.

A free will to choose Good or Evil,

a gift from our Loving God,

is a part of our daily struggles.

The weapons of the Dark One are many.

Darkness that covers our mind with sorrow

in our latter years,

to place us in a void of hopelessness,

and fear.

Lost of health, lost of loved ones,

bringing doubt to our aging minds.

Are we to be snatched from His Love at our

Eleventh hour before death?

Render your darkness to God’s Love and Power.

The Lord will lift you above this Evil.

Never fear, never give in to distrust nor hate,

in the darkness that attacks you .

The Dark One’s only reward in eternity is suffering;

while yours, will be in the Light of God’s Love forever.

“I Cannot Imagine Life Without You” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming poetry book “Passion Amidst Apathy”

The words came like a knife to my heart.

It was evening, and we had just gotten in bed.

The words were whispered in the smallest of voice from you.

We were lying side by side, with my arm around your waist.

This was always, in all these years, in how I went to sleep with you.

The words were, “I don’t want to leave you” in an almost sobbing voice.

Then it was your silent breathing again.

 

I tried to visualize my life without you.

All that my mind gave back was a blank screen.

Lord, did I not pray enough for You to watch over her?

After all these years, the darkness of cancer returns to my bride.

And what of the cure?

Killing her body in order to make it better?

We build Atomic bombs to kill our enemies.

Accomplished the impossible, in placing mankind on the moon,

and returning them.

Yet we must see those we love,

be placed at the edge of death,

in order to get better.

I am angry with the greed and ignorance of man. 

“Ghostly, Do I Walk” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Chains of sorrow upon my neck,

reaching for the ones I knew,

unable to touch.

A slight breath of air,

words spoken, but not heard.

My world is full of “If I could’s,”

no clock to turn back on my regrets.

I offer only a prayer to my unseen God

to let this end.

I say to you,

there is no time left

but the time of this moment.

Time to forgive,

time to say, “I love you.”

Time to give of yourself,

for all that you could have done,

with this precious thing called Life.

In so doing, perhaps you not also be,

on this ghostly path,

that may never end for me.

“The Serpent Takes Many Forms” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

The meal was simple,

one of bread, fruits, and vegetables from the field.

The conversation was good-natured,

and spirited among the men.

He said among them quietly,

with a smile of love upon His gentle face.

These men had been with Him for many months.

They were closer than His brothers of birth.

He called to the server for a bowl of water,

and a simple cloth to wash His hands.

They stopped speaking, and turned to Him.

They knew the time to listen had come.

With courage, the one closest to Him asked,

“Master, how am I to know the face of evil?”

“The Serpent takes many forms,” said the Master.

He placed His hands together,

each fingertip touching the other,

forming a circle.

“Within this circle appears air,

and nothing to fear,

but I say unto you,

the Serpent can take any shape or form,

seeminly without consequences of punishment or terror,”

said the Master.

“At the beginning of eternity,

when my Father make your souls,

an awareness of knowing evil.

He rendered to your souls an eternal power against evil.

When my inner voice speaks to you,

know then,

my brothers,

evil is next to you.”

The Master, eyes lifted upward,

cautioned,

“Only by crying out your God’s name,

will you be protected from Evil.”

Then, He lowered His head sadly lamenting,

“To ignore this warning will place you in the hold

of the serpent,

and you may become forever lost.

So, I say to you,

your heavenly Master and Father,

I love you beyond the value or joys of this world.

Keep your faith,

and ye shall be with us,

in love and light in eternity.”

so He spoke to me,

the Master of my life. 

“Chemo” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming Poetry Book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I could see the sadness in her eyes,

as each chunk of her golden hair came forth in her hand.

She place her once shining, golden flax into a plastic bag,

to be reminded of the beauty,

of her hair.

Her hair stylist assured her that baking soda,

washed gently in her hair would prevent the falling of her hair,

from her scalp.

In giving her this suggestion,

the stylist refused to cut her hair shorter,

in order to make the lost, easier to bear.

The stylist was wrong.

Bear witness to the shining and blotched scalp,

where beautiful golden hair once resided.

Nightmares of her past returned to her.

Remembrance of a childhood ring worm of her head,

returned to haunt her again,

of laughing classmates,

finger pointing to stocking capped head.

The Spector of Death upon a black chair,

drove her to the decision to move forward,

to this dreaded treatment.

Was the fear real or made to fill the pockets of her doctors?

Payments for the Rolls convertible that sat,

shiny and pale green,

in the doctor’s slot of the cancer treatment center.

A large cow-like-barn room,

where milking looking machines of death,

pumped their questionable medicine into their hosts.

A winged angel of slow death,

masked as an Angel of Life,

to claim another possible victim,

in its green flow of money,

from perhaps, its victims?

Dear God,

please protect,

the one I love so dearly,

from this possible,

self-inflicted treatment.

“A Gift Of Treasure” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming poetry book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I tried to think of a gift,

that would be special to you.

A gift of treasure that would endure,

thru the days of your life.

Would gold and jewels,

things that could rust,

and turn to dust,

in the sands of time,

be such a gift?

I think not,

for the earth holds many trinkets from the ages.

Trinkets buried deeply in the earth,

long forgotten of their purpose.

Forgotten of the song, they held, so long ago.

I give thee my words of my heart,

that are enclosed within the eternity of my soul.

Eternity, with such a gift,

that will go beyond the decaying trinkets of the earth.

If it is God’s will that death should temporary seperate us,

this gift shall be my seal of love,

to clothe you in the light of my love,

and carry you forward to the day,

we shall meet again in the eternity that is before us.

It will be a place without pain,

hurt, or further sorrow for us.

A place where we shall again open the seal of my love.

A place where we will laugh again in joy each day,

in the wonder of our love.

“The Master Speaks of God’s Love” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming poetry book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

The night sky was a deep black with blazing stars over the Master and His disciples, this particular night along the sea of Galilee.

It was a time of quiet contemplation of the beauty of God’s work.

Within the group of His disciples, one disciple had a troubling question.

With reverence he approached the Master with his question.

“Does God’s Love for us have bounds when remembering our sins in His Eternal Memory?” asked the disciple quietly, as to not disturb the other men in the group.

The Master lifted His Head toward the night sky and pointed His finger to a bright star saying, “As you look upon the stars in the night sky, many have long changed in form, and are no more. 

The distance is so great in the travel of that light,

that we still see those suns prior to their changing of form. 

So in the breath of God’s Love for us,

it is also beyond the width, depth and height of such distances from us.

Since His Love for us is unconditional, so is His memory of our sins.

In asking His forgiveness of our sins, their memory no longer exists in eternity.”

So spoke that night,

the Master of My Life. 

“Walk Tenderly On My Dreams” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

Walk tenderly on my dreams,

for my dreams are me,

with my soul exposed.

Judge not,

the worth of my hopes,

nor the possiblilty of their reality. 

If you are without encouraging words,

then seal your lips in speaking of my dreams.

Are we not without hope,

when stripped of our dreams and aspirations?

Look to yourself and ask yourself,

when were your own dreams scattered against

the rocks of time?

Take not your anger,

with yourself,

against those,

who still have hope.

“A Strange Lake Couple Indeed” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

Lurch and Do-Do,

were an unusual couple, 
a strange couple indeed,        

living next door to each other,

on the lake.

An ex-married couple,

still fighting,

and cussing each other other,

each day,

as if they were still married.

One was reminded of the

couple from the TV show,

the Munsters of the Adams Family.

They resemblance was so much alike to

these characters of that old black and white show.

Friendless,

they both were.

Most intelligent relationships of their pasts,

quickly found,

what “users” they both were of others.

Easily recognized in any crowd was Lurch.

Standing, at what seemed almost seven feet tall.

Hair, badly dyed black with a  bend-over back that seemed

to have a huge hump in its rear.

White wooden-like teeth filled his mouth,

exposing a loud bragging voice,

which told the world,

what a wonderful individual he was.

His favorite hobby,

was watching dirty pictures

on the net. 

One could not met,

an uglier man.

All that was missing from him,

to complete the effect,

was the metal bars thru his neck.

Lurch recently got a new ride.

The reason he brought it,

since it was a GM product,

was it came with free “snacks,”

for a year.

Do-Do, the ex-wife was the perfect witch.

Black dyed straight hair,

that seemed to not have been washed in weeks.

A face more wrinkled than old shoe leather,

on old muddy combat boots.

Beauty had deserted Do-Do,

a long time ago,

as her twenty year old clothes,

hung from her bony body,

while displaying her pointed store-brought teeth.

All Do-Do needed to complete the look,

was a broom to sit on. 

Her favorite chair was also wood,

made to look like a hand carved duck,

to also sit on,

and rock all day,

like a mindless wooden doll. 

Halloween is a favorite time,

for both Lurch and Do-Do.

At this time of year,

for a short while,

they become close friends again.

Together they go out tricking and treating.

They are joyful at this time of year,

because they do not need to buy outfits to

trick or treat,

and get high,

on all the candy,

they can eat. 

“The Song of the Bottle” copyright 2008, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

It was a simple glass bottle,

that gave me a gift of song,

that day.

It was a beautiful sunny day,

on the waterfront side of my home.

With a fresh cold, iced beer,

I sat on the back porch.

The breeze was beautiful as diamonds of light,

sparkled off the water before me.

A curious thing happened as I slowly drank that beer.

The outside wind played through the empty part of the bottle. 

A song, like no other, played through the glass.

It was a haunting song of eons,

from another time.

As I drank more liquor from the bottle,

the song changed in pitch to a sweeter song.

It came to me at that moment,

that God’s gifts to us are never ending.

In prayer,

I gave thanks to God,

for His gifts to me,

that day,

and the song of the bottle.

 

 

“The Last Judgement Bench” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo, upcoming poetry book, “Passion Amidst Apathy” (This is Book Six of the Master’s Series)

It was a long day of preaching and answering many questions by the Master.

Toward the end of the day an ancient elder of the nearby village asked the

Master the following question.

” Master,”  he shouted above the multitude,

“Tell us of the Last Judgement.”

The Master replied,

” The Judgement Bench sits before the Gates of Heaven.

On this day Trillions of souls will stand before this bench.

The total of all the eternal souls that have been born and died in eternity.

The scales of judgement will be in the total hearts of all.

Each soul will stand before all in total recall of all the details,

of their lives on the physical earth.

No trespass will be hidden,

no hurt upon others forgotten,

but revealed to all,

to see, to feel within,

their own individual spirits.

The sincerity of one giving up themselves

to Jesus will also lay in the balance of judgement.

To those, that the scales of justice weigh

heavily against them,

the gates of hell will swallow them

for their last time to an eternity of suffering,

without the light of God before them.

To those, who died with repent on their lips,

to those who gave their lives to Christ in their lives,

with deeds of love and goodness,

to these,

the Gates will then open,

to an eternity of peace and joy.

So, it will be on that day,

that all will stand

before the Judgement Bench,”

so said the Master of my life,

on this day.

“The Power Of His Love” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

The Power comes forth.

It is the power of His Love for us.

All that one has to do,

is believe.

All one has to do is believe,

in the Power of His Love.

His Love is for all of us.

Get on your knees,

Thank God,

for the Power of His Love.

Joy will now be yours.

Your enemies are now dust.

Darkness is no longer your fate.

The Light of Eternity and Love,

is now yours.

“What Is The Secret Key To Eternal Life?” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy” The Seventh poem of the Master’s Series

On this day,

the Master revealed

His greatest gift to mankind.

This gift was rendered on a mountain of stone,

reflected on a setting sun,

to a multitude of many,

in one of the many lessons,

given to multitudes in those years. 

The question,

that came toward the end of that day

was, “ Master, what is the greatest gift,

that God gives to all of us?”  asked the young

man in the multitude of that day.

The Master replied,

“The greatest gift that my Father gives to all,

is the secret of Forgiveness.

In rendering forgiveness to ones self,

and also forgiveness of others,

does a sinner reveal,

the keys to heaven,

and the eternal Love of our Father.

Forgiveness assures the eternal love of the Father,

and being in the arms of His Love forever.”

so said the Master of my life,

on this day.

“A Face Of Passing Time” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

It was with a shock that I saw the passing of time,

upon your face today.

I have looked at you many times before,

without noticing the many lines,

and spots of age,

that now map your face.

It had taken many years,

for age to mark its passing.

On this day,

It seemed to have happened overnight.

The young face, I remembered, 

also was voided of the look of love,

that I remembered seeing in those eyes.

I felt a cold chill this day,

as you looked into my face,

and as if by some twist of time,

I really was not there.

Time can be so cruel in its passing.

Discovered lines of time on a face,

that was still loved by me,

and finding only the coldest of a north wind,

in response.

Ah Love,

and sweet memories,

where have you gone,

in this passing of time,

upon my dear ones’ face.  

“The Miracle of Our Lives” copyright 2008 by John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

Flickering candles at the doorway to eternity.

The time of our lives in this world,

seemly not worth noting in the scheme of the universe.

Yet, our God in his Love for us,

fills our lives with such joy,

in knowing Him.

Beyond the valley of tears,

Beyond the lost of love,

beyond the caverns of fear,

beyond the dark rooms of hell itself,

He has brought us to bath in His light of Love.

Lives of ticking seconds,

streaming in light years of

moving hours around a dying sun.

Should we not spend each day,

in good works in His glory, worship, and honor?

Only by His individual touch in the mircle of

our births,

can we understand this grand gift given to us.

A gift to be able to find our ways again,

in being rejoined again,

with the Master of our eternal fates.

“The Bradford Pear Tree of Club Lake Trail” copyright 2004, a lost poem recovered, preview poem, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

A Pear Tree am I,

unchanged by the lost of a part of me.

I am the same,

nothing has changed,

there is just less of me.

Why do you stare a me,

as you pass?

Am I so different then before?

I still smell the air,

feel the sky,

and warm myself in the sun of day,

soak the rain of day,

amidst the storms that roll into my horizon.

I still dream of dreams,

yet to come,

for I am and still am,

the might Bradford Pear Tree of Club Lake Trail.

I was taller,

fuller, and prouder,

than I am now,

but still the Bradford Pear,

the tree you looked upon each day,

with such pride.

Have I changed so much from those days,

when you looked so lovingly at me?

The change came slowly over the years.

Worms chewed in the joy of my wood,

seeking the essence of me.

I grew,

but as each leaf fell,

I became closer to my death.

The death of cut wood and broken twigs,

laid upon a ground now unknown to me.

What changed me so quickly and without warning?

It was shortly after midnight,

the storm came.

Wind tearing at the very soul of me,

Wind ripping my inner part out,

to lay useless,

and with only partial life upon the ground.

I am still the same,

the Bradford Pear,

I live,

I breathe,

I sun,

even with fuller leaves,

than before.

Should you now love me less,

for not being as powerful,

and mighty as before?

I love you no less,

for you see,

I am, and will always be, 

your Bradford Pear Tree of Club Lake Trail. 

“A Prayer To A Loved One” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo, upcoming poetry book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

As I stand before the doorway of death,

let the last vision that I will hold,

be that of you.

Let my soaring soul be forever imprinted

with memories of you.

Let not my journey be far,

before at last,

I am in your arms again.

Let my lips be sealed in a kiss from you,

bearing witness,

to our eternity together.

“By His Manger” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

Set aside your burden at my manger.

I have come to give My Love to you.

Side aside your fears,

put away your tears.

Have I not promised by my arrival,

eternal, everlasting joy to you.

Light beyond sight,

sound in tune with angels’ voices,

singing in My Love for you.

Come closer and bathe in my light.

Look into my eyes and see the innocence,

in the truth of My Love,

and care for you,

now and forever. 

“One Night” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Rainbows Amidst Storms”

Steely, the night shown against iced blackness,

with a white diamond star blazing in the heavens.

Hints of soft voices whispered in the wind.

The weary shepherds pushed forward on their staffs,

looking forward to the comfort of their tents.

Beyond the hills, the sky glowed.

A choir of voices was heard with a sweet clarity,

the sound of bells vibrated among the sound of horns.

The animals spooked, deaf to the commands of their masters.

The wind increased in its volume and strength.

The shepherds were filled with fear.

Light overshadowed the darkness,

during the midst of night.

Within the light formed,

the most beautiful soft,

white, and gold of human-like forms,

shining against the sky.

The shepherd’s breath stopped in their throats.

Filled with excitement and happiness beyond their capacity to describe,

their skin prickled.

Heavenly voices brought words to their ears;

words singing of kindness,

understanding,

peace,

and anticipation to these men of the field.

The voices told of a special child that would

unlock the gates of fear and bring eternal love,

to the future of the world.

This happened on a special night,

a long, long time ago. 

 

“The Old McKinney Square Is Gone” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

The Old McKinney Square is gone.

The place of adventure and discovery,

that I found in 1970,

as a young man.

My background was of one born in New York City.

I had no trinkets or heirlooms from my past.

Old decaying Brownstones in Harlem had no such things,

especially from the poor family of an iron and steel worker.

I discovered the joy of collecting antiques,

on the Old McKinney Square in those days.

The collecting became a passion for me,

as I called each antique a precious find.

There was a magic in those crowded,

dusty shelves, packed with hidden mystery.

Each shop owner, and each dealer,

became first name friends,

with a smile and greeting,

as I searched,

a part of each day. 

It was about 2001,

that my quests were no more,

for you see,

I ran out of space for those treasures. 

Today in another December in 2008,

added to my life,

I decided to again,

visit my Old McKinney Square.

The warm friendly faces,

that I once knew,

where gone into the dusty trail of time.

The crowded shelves of discovery were no more.

The store fronts were new,

Their new chic names in Gold letters on them.

The antiques were new,

made to look old.

They lacked a certain warmth,

and history in their shiny new look.

My heart filled with sadness,

for I then realized,

I too would soon be gone,

as the Old McKinney Square is gone,

never remembered,

but forgotten,

as all my sweet memories,

of joys past,

will also be gone,

into the eternal sunset.

“The Magic Christmas Bells of Florence Street” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

This is a magical Christmas story from my past.

It was a new beginning for my life in 71,’

a new marriage and becoming the Step-Father

of three children was my accomplishment.

It was Christmas eve, 

just a few minutes before midnight.

We just got home from a trip to a family

gathering in Dallas.

It was cold with clear night skies,

as we began to hear the sound of sleigh bells

over our home.

We all stood outside the front door

of our home in amazement,

as we hear the bells from far away,

come closer overhead,

then pass over our house,

then on to the distance in sound.

We could not see anything overhead,

but we all knew that evening,

truly,  St. Nick and his sleigh,

had passed,

somehow,

over our home.

“Sam Has Left The Building” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

Losing a dear friend is always a very sad thing; having that lost happen during the Christmas season is especially sad.  To me, Sam Shields was a very special individual, and I will miss him very much.  Following is a link to his memorial site:  http://obit.baue.com/obitdisplay.html?id=613556&listing=Current

Sam was a beautiful man.

A man of presence,

standing six foot five,

at over two hundred and fifty pounds.

He had the gentle qualities of a Teddy Bear.

I never remember Sam being anything but,

warm, generous, with words of kindness,

on every occasion we were together.

If I could have had someone to pick,

as an older brother,

I would have picked Sam.

Sam died suddenly from a massive stroke.

The doctors said his life could have been saved,

but he would have been a total vegetable.

I know Sam would not have wanted that. 

Sam had been an engineer with Boeing

for forty-six years.

He never spoke of what kind of work he did.

He would laughingly say, “If I told you, I then

would have to kill you.”

I am going to miss Sam terribly.

They do not make men,

like him,

anymore.

 

“A Christmas Memory From Long Ago” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo, upcoming “Passion Amidst Apathy”

It was our first Christmas together.

We both were eighteen,

with barely more,

than the clothes on our backs.

I was just out of basic training,

in the U.S. Air Force.

She had just graduated from high school,

and then wrote a bus to Savannah, Georgia,

to join me,

the love of her life.

We had rented a several room apartment,

on the second floor of an old Savannah home.

It was in a falling-down condition.

The gifts we shared were inexpensive,

but meant the world in their value,

and meaning to each of us.

She gave me a St. Christopher’s medal of Silver,

while I gave her a Catholic missal.

She wanted to become a Catholic like me,

prior to us getting married.

I took a picture of her opening her present.

The smile upon her face was beautiful.

It was a Christmas in 1960.

It will always be a Christmas,

I will always remember.

The lesson I learned,

that day was,

the love between us,

was truly,

the greatest gift,

we could have shared,

that Christmas. 

It was a year after I served

my four years in service,

that she wanted to start a family.

At the time,

I felt we were not quite ready.

One day, I came home to find our home,

completely empty of its furniture.

She had filed for a divorce.

I sometimes wonder,

if she thinks of me,

as I remember her.

I wonder too,

if she had all the children,

she wanted in her life.

“The Witch of The Lake” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo, upcoming “Passion Amidst Apathy”

The witch of the lake,

was a very ugly witch.

Dye-Blackened hair upon her head,

looked like an upside down broom,

upon her head.

Shitanna was her name,

no better name could be found,

for such a foul smelling evil one.

Bright straight teeth of white polished wood,

did she have in a wrinkled mouth of age.

You could tell she was close by,

in her approach to one,

the smell of her sickened all that came,

within smelling distance of her.

Her only friends were the black birds of the lake.

Hundreds gathered each day upon her front porch,

where she wheel barrelled old found grain for them to eat.

Their gift to her at the end of each day,

was their white discharges of poop upon her porch.

In the evening of each night,

she scraped the poop and rubbed it upon her body.

A strange sight indeed,

this bony wrench of a woman,

covered in poop from head to toe.

Each night,

she flapped her arms,

in the hope that she too,

could fly as her black bird friends.

All that rewarded her and her

neighbors was her stink,

which only was spread further,

in the darkened evil wind. 

 

“If I Could Speak the Right Words” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

If I could speak the right words of endearment,

would you rush to be at my side?

Have we not been seeking the same dream,

a dream yet unfounded in our time,

upon this world?

If I could speak the right words,

I would tell you how long I have been seeking you.

The space in my heart was never filled by others,

for they were not you,

my love.

If I could speak the right words,

they would tell you that I will immediately know,

it is you,

when you are before me.

The moment that our eyes will meet,

we will know,

we finally found each other.

If I could speak the right words of endearment,

they would tell you of the eternity that I have spent,

in seeking you.

A half soul,

a lost wanderer,

a knight without a grail,

have I been.

Complete my being.

Awaken at my side,

make us one,

never to be alone again,

for the eternity,

that is still before us.

“A First Love Returneth” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I awoke this morning with a start.

I had no thought of her,

or dream of her for that matter,

in over forty-five years.

We were to met again, in the dream.

I was nervous and fearful in seeing her again.

Within the dream, I realized, she truly was my first love,

in discovering passion in my being with a woman.

I guess, I had blocked her from my mind,

all these years.

As I waited to see her again,

I recalled all those nights of long ago,

that sweating love making with her.

It was Summer, when we met.

Even with the air conditioning at full blast,

we both sweated profusely in love making. 

She was as tall as me, at six feet,

blond, blue-eyed with beautiful fair skin.

During the time we were together,

I could not believe that I was so blessed,

in being loved by a woman like that. 

I do not know what I did,

to lose her love for me.

I am sure,

I also blocked that from my mind.

In the dream,

we sat across from each other,

moving our lips,

but unable to form words,

at the sight of each other.

We knew.

We felt the surge of our old passions,

for each other.

There was nothing to forgive,

between us.

There was,

only the love to remember,

between the both of us.

It was such a great dream.

Loved with such passion,

is such a gift to us in our lives.

I awoke from the dream,

with tears in my eyes.    

“Dreams of Revelations” copyright 2009, John J. Rigo, A lost poem recovered that will be found in upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I awoke this morning,

with the warmth, taste, and smell of my dreams,

still lingering upon my body.

My lips were still moving in formed words,

of forgiveness, on my part,

with a request for forgiveness of those,

whose warmth I felt upon me.

I awoke with a joy,

and a sadness,

beyond words to describe.

I felt the need to tell of this dream,

this past night.

It was a dream of forgiveness,

forgiveness of the past.

A rejoining of old loves,

long gone from today,

but not forgotten.

The joy of reuniting was pure,

and without hurt.

The embraces were real.

The words of happiness real.

There was no bitterness,

other than the sweetness of memories from the past.

We had long forgiven each other,

for our past hurts.

Hurts rendered,

by our own lacking of thought.

The joy of the moment,

was all that was important.

I fought to hold on to those moments.

I did not want to let them go.

Moments of love, happiness,

revisited from days past.

Is this what love and happiness is all about,

in its reincarnation from the past?

Is this what the past-over in death,

to another life, is all about?

A new life with forgiveness,

behind us, and only joy before us?

If it is so, then I face death with hope and joy.

No longer will I have,

the dark fear that use to follow me.

Thank you Lord,

for giving me insight this day,

from the visits of my night.

I face this new day,

seeking new signs,

of my Lord’s Love for me. 

    

“My Magic Red Shoes” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming “Passion Amidst Apathy”

At times, it would be nice,

to have a pair of magic red shoes.

Just clicking them together three times,

would do the trick.

Suddenly, I would be transported,

to wherever my mind of memory,

would wish to go.

At this very moment,

I could easily think of a dozen places,

I would love to be at this moment.

Each time frame,

would place me at a time and place,

where I felt greatly loved.

Where there was a skip in my step,

and a constant grin on my face.

I can easily bring to mind,

scenes of such places in my past.

Skipping through a mall with her,

like a school child.

Dancing with her,

for the first time,

with my arm around her waist. 

Ah yes, then their were those

first kisses, always soft, always remembered,

always joyful in the way they went to my toes.

Truthly knowing what I know now,

would I have taken more time,

to savor every moment then,

in remembering every detail,

of the places of my youth,

where my magic red shoes,

would have taken my heart.  

Is This An Impossible Dream? copyright 2009 by John J. Rigo, Texas’ Columnist and Publisher

I have a dream.  It is a “Homeless Shelter” in Henderson County, Texas.  Is this an impossible dream?  more to follow……..

“Haven of Hope” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming poetry book “Passion Amidst Apathy”

It can be a place of hope.

A shelter of caring love,

and future dreams.

A second chance for many,

and a third chance for others.

A shelter beyond just protection,

against rain, wind, heat and cold.

A complex overcoming the appearance of lost hope.

Warm beds, class rooms and a library at its core,

offering new lifetime friendships in a common bond.

A destination that never closes a door to those who leave.

Helping hands with hearts exposed,

in words and deeds rendered,

to those, who were without hope.

Are we not as great,

as the least among us?

A new start for children,

for beatened mothers,

for our lost warriors,

returning from war.

A light burning ever so brightly,

in showing all who come,

that love, is not only just a word.

The “Haven of Hope,”

a diamond in our mist,

shining ever so brightly.

“The Loss Of A Love” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo upcoming “Passion Amidst Apathy”

It was a cold black cloud that overcame me.

An unknown evil  sucked the very air from the room.

I wanted to scream, but could not.

I felt waves of tears within the folds of my body.

A tightness in my throat, I could not explain.

A flood of tears within my being, being held back,

from some inner strength of will.

I realized my best friend was no longer.

A heap of once shiny metal on a field of battle,

was now the very heart and soul of me.

Destroyed beyond any possible flashes of laughter.

Destroyed at the very core of me,

was this once shining light.

When I saw the truth, now fully realized in its

cutting reality, there is no pain that could be greater.

My love is no more.

A valley of tears lies before me.

Was there any way to remove this spear,

that now cuts deeply into the very soul of my spirit.

I cryed to the heavens,

but was not heard.

Please God,  I moaned,

“Remove this torment from me.”

This deep sadness,

that now drapes my body.

Drapes the light of each,

of my future days.

“Spare me this torment

dear God,”was my final cry. 

“Hugs” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo upcoming book “Passion Amidst Apathy”

There is something wonderous about a hug.

It is a way of saying,”you are special to me.”

A step beyond the boundries of formal convention.

The assurance of a heart touching a heart.

A touch of comfort to calm a grieving heart.  

A cheek touching a cheek,

with a kiss of greeting.

Whether a man to man,

or woman to woman,

or man to woman,

or woman to man,

there are no limits to showing

our love for another.

We are all souls in His creation,

with an eternal bond between us all.

The hug is the sign of our sisterhood and brotherhood.

Let it not become forgotten in your life,

it precious honey to the wounds of this life,

forever giving,

forever loving,

in the wonder,

of love,

to all of us. 

“I Want To Be IN LOVE Again” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I want to be IN LOVE again.

I know you love me,

and I love you.

I miss being IN LOVE,

that mysterious, wonderful feeling of being IN LOVE.

That feeling that one has,

when the one they love walks into a room.

The way the background fades,

and all you can see,

is them.

I miss the way my body felt when I was touched.

The way that my breath was hard to catch after kissing.

I miss those soul kisses that touched the very core of me.

I miss the way electricity went down my body when I was dancing with you. 

This was how I felt when I was IN LOVE.

I want to be,

IN LOVE again.

“A Miracle Awaits” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, Forward for upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

 

The Miracle Awaits

Within each of our lives a miracle awaits to be revealed. We are truly miracles in ourselves.  In creating us God made us perfect in His Image.  In serving others in the Love of His Name,  does the miracle of His creation,  reveal itself to us. So on this day, does my journey begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“There Are Times” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

There are times

that reaching back in our memories,

is the only way we can attempt

to rediscover happiness in our present lives.

As hard as we try

those memories remain swirling mists,

from the times of our fleeing youth,

never felt again,

nor tasted.

We cry out in an agony of painful want,

but find no release.

Could this place in our lives,

be but a preview

of an unending terrible hell?

We are only left with an undisclosed  fear,

that possibly a heaven does not exist,

but is a creation of imagination,

out of our own fears. 

“Is this all there is?” we whisper,

in a silent room in our minds.

Only by our prayers

to our Lord,

prior to our earthly deaths,

will we find joys beyond the ones,

we have experienced in this world.

We will find glorious joys in another world,

by the promises of His Word,

that will be before us. 

Upon that moment,

let what was my blinded eyes,

in the things of temporary joys in this world,

be opended again,

to the eternal glory of His Name.

“The Warrior King and the Messenger” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, Upcoming Book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

 The warrior king looked down upon the trembling servant with these words, “How am I to trust the wisdom of your king, who sends you with this message, if he hides his real name behind a false one?”  He went on further in his discourse by saying, “Does your king lack courage.  Does he not have the backbone of a man or is he really a woman hiding behind a man’s name who claims to be a king?”  The king then had his soldiers remove the servant from his presence.  The servant’s head was cut off before the sun set upon that day.

Each day I am constantly amazed by the many web sites and forum boards that carry postings of individuals who use cover names out of fear instead of their own real names.  How can one take any of these postings seriously when the posters hide behind a mask?  For all we know, it can be a simple program on a computer somewhere generating all  these postings across the net in an attempt to control public opinion.

“Her Eyes Were Also Brown” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

It was an open house of a new resident in the community.

I sat on table near a corner of the room,

a kind of observation post of those coming into the room.

There you stood looking at me from afar.

There was a blackberry in your hand texting someone.

You came and sat next to me.

You asked me if the room seemed warm.

You told me your hands were sweating.

I explained that I got a kind of butterflies when I met new people.

I learned through disciple long ago to overcome being uncomfortable.

Forty years in sales changes many things about an individual.

You could not be more than eighteen,

brown hair and the deepest of brown eyes.

You kept looking a me strangely,

like you had always knew me.

A memory came to my mind.

It was my childhood bride of eighteen.

You looked very much like her.

Her eyes were also Brown. 

I remembered how I felt about her.

I loved her in a special deep way.

There is something about a first love,

that always makes it special in memories through life.

I saw her in you,

the hair,

the eyes,

the way you smiled at me.

We talked of college and your first year.

The difficulties you were having with some of your studies.

You said goodby in a formal way and left.

It was like you leaving again.

I think of you often and those early days

in my life that we shared as two lost children together.

There always will be something special about you,

and those days in my mind,

many years ago.

Take care my love,

wherever you may be this day.

Remember that I still think of you,

and yes in my way,

yes, I still love you.

” I Have Never Gotten Comfortable With Death” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book “Passion Amidst Apathy”

My mind still does not accept they are gone from this world.

I find myself, many a time reaching for a phone,

to call them.

It is a select group,

these souls that were a part of my life.

Some are friends,

that cannot ever be replaced,

in the deep meaning of their unselfish love of me.

Others, are my parents who I felt I never really knew as people.

There was the apple of my eye,

my step-daughter of many years.

Truly the only daughter,

I ever knew in my life.

There were others,

that I would have liked to have known better,

they were gone,

without any notice from my life.

At times, I find them in my thoughts,

mind speaking with them about different things,

reaching and seeking unresponsive council  from now,

an unfamilar place in my heart.

I know they are not really gone,

they are just in a different place than me,

a place that beckons me as my own death comes closer each day.

You see, I never have gotten comfortable with Death.

So, my dear friends,

my dearest of loved ones,

make a place for me,

where again we can laugh and love,

and talk about all that is around us each day,

of the eternity before us. 

“Sometimes It Pays To Count Your Blessings” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming poetry book “Passion Amidst Apathy”

Sometimes it pays to look back on our lives.

In so doing, we can then take time to count our blessings.

Today, after a run to our local post office,

I decided to detour to my old home within

a few miles of my completed task.

The house, an old frame was terribly run down.

It was built in the early 1900’s.

I remember the day well,

moving into that house that we freshly painted,

as a newly married young man of twenty-eight.

With my new bride came three step-children,

ages six, eight and going on ten; two boys and a girl.

I had no previous experience as a Father.

My new wife was a secretary for a local construction company,

while I had just started work for a local Ford dealership in town,

as a salesman.

My average paycheck in 1970 was under four hundred a month.

The house was just off College street in McKinney, Texas.

We financed $6,5oo on the purchase of that home.

Five people in a three, very small bedroom room with the grand total, of one bathroom.

Since those days, and our divorce almost fourteen years latter,

shortly after the graduation of my step-daughter from Baylor College with a Master’s degree in Music, much water, has passed

under that olde’ bridge.

Today, that step-daughter is dead, killed by a hit and run driver.

The oldest boy I never did hear from again, after his graduation from North Texas.

As to the youngest one, who today, should be in his mid forties,

perhaps is currently in Huntsville prison.

Today, as a senior, I now look at my bride of almost twenty years, grow more beautiful in my eyes each day.

I count each day, the many blessings that have come to me,

since those days, almost forty years ago,  in the early seventies.

I am reminded today, in a bill that came in the mail today,

that the monthly bill to keep the lawn mowed at my second home on the lake, is more than the commissions I drew as a car salesman back in those days.

God is great, and my blessings beyond every dream, 

I have ever held.

Thank you Lord, for this day, and the life you have rendered me, after I finally gave my life to you,

almost thirty years ago.  

“Sticks and Stones” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, forthcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I am reminded of the child’s chant,

“Sticks and stones will hurt my bones,

but words will never harm me.”

One should not react in passion to pieces of trash

hiding behind a site name on the Internet.

Those who post slanderous words against another

have no spine.

A crawling snake is their closest ally.

True suffering, was demonstrated by our Lord,

Jesus Christ,

as he was beatened and crucified as a criminal.

Lord, protect me and bless me,

as I worship and adore your name

through eternity.

 

“Most Devastating” copyright John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

There is nothing more devastating,

then someone you have loved beyond all others,

tells you they do not love you.

Suddenly, the person before you,

is a complete stranger.

You can feel your heart breaking,

into a million pieces.

You know you deserve better than that,

from the one you protected and cared for,

for over twenty years. 

Why does life seem so cruel when one finds themselves,

turning away from,

the person they thought of,

as their best friend? 

To have this happen as one finds themselves,

in their golden years is especially cruel.

Truly life on this earth,

can be such a sad thing. 

“The Abuser” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

The words were hammered blows to my heart.

A stranger would dare not speak such words to me;

crushing fists would they find quickly pounding their bodies.

The slap of the glove upon their face,

to face certain death on the field of honor.

The answer to your acts are simple enough,

you are an abuser of men.

Your love of God and Jesus but a front,

a lie to all.

Deep within your heart lies hate still pouring

on one who has loved you beyond all others.

A faithful friend,

you no longer are to me.

I have seen your soul.

It is dark, black and ridden with the shit of the world,

upon your lips.

Oh where, oh where did my love go.

You are without honor, heroism or truth in your declared love.

“The Turn In The Road” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

It was a turn in the road that seperated our lives.

Now as I face the end of my life,

I realize more than ever,

how much I loved you then.

There is no one that can replace a first love.

This day I look upon the one,

that has said she loves me.

Yet, I know that those are just words from her lips.

Her hateful words upon my soul only bring me pain,

and suffering.

I don’t remember you ever hurting me that way.

You always made me feel so special,

a feeling, I have not had for a very long time.

If the clock was something,

I could turn back,

you would be at my side this day.

There would have been the children,

you wanted so badly with us.

May the memories of you,

get me through this day.

“You Cannot Destroy Me” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

You cannot destroy me.

I am a chosen one of the Lord.

I have the Light of Truth as my shield.

All those who have tried,

have either,

died horrible deaths,

or had their lives destroyed financially,

or have had the loves of their lives taken away.

You see, as a child,

Jesus appeared before me.

It was the first sign of His Love for me.

One of my gifts from the Lord,

is to see beyond your mask of Goodness.

I see your evil,

when others cannot.

You hide within the laughter of children,

for they are unaware of the true evil you represent.

The Lord has marked me to destroy Evil,

whenever it comes across my path.

You have crossed my path,

you are now know as the evil one,

your white collar and cross,

can no longer cover the darkness of your soul.

With the Lord’s blessings,

I will be there to see you,

totally destroyed,

and cast into the fires of hell.

“My Beautiful Church Home” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I have been to many churches in my lifetime.

None can compare to the beauty of my church.

My church lies outside my back door.

Before me lies miles of beautiful water,

its beauty more clarifying upon a Sunrise morning.

The clouds above this church of God’s home,

are higher than any church steeple.

There is no wall or ceiling painting to equal,

the clouds above my church.

No gilded statue that equals the sun’s glory,

as it breaks forth upon the horizon.

There is no choir that rises above the sweet sound,

of the wind that sings across my ears.

There is no preacher, preaching to me,

nor a basket asking for my coin.

No where else can one,

be any closer to God.

“My Beloved Survivor” copyright 2009 (Possible PG13 rating) John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

She stood naken before me in the bathroom.

Before me I seen her beauty,

Amidst the scars of her two battles.

Breast cancer,

twice in a ten year period.

Her left breast was twisted almost inward.

The scar under her arm pit made her nipple,

bend inward toward her chest wall.

Upon her right breast the burn was clearly seen.

It was where six weeks of radiation were done,

in one week. 

The right side was caved inward in this area of burn.

Her nipple stood straight, high and proud on this breast. 

This was the breast that the doctor suggested,

that she also have chemo due to her second bout.

Her hair had long grown back from this terror,

of a heart wrenching attack on her entire body.

As she smiled at me,

and kissed the top of my head,

I thanked my Lord,

for putting this beautiful,

and strong woman,

in my life.   

“God Wants To Talk To You” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, Texas Commentator

If you are one of the thousands of individuals, who is not a regular church goer,  who lives in the Cedar Creek Lake area of Texas, God wants to talk to you.  If you find yourself feeling unconnected, if you feel your life has more questions than answers, and you truly wish to know God in a personal relationship; consider visiting one of the many dozens of churches in the Cedar Creek Lake area. 

Whether you are a “full-timer” or a “weekender” at Cedar Creek Lake, there is a church home waiting to share its family with you.  Take time to visit various churches in the area and participate in their Sunday services.  Making worshipping of our Lord, on a regular weekend service will bring you much joy and peace.

God has left a message waiting for you at one of these church homes.  God wants to talk to you.  God wants you to know that He loves you personally, and He is there for you, to help you through this journey of life, that will in eternity, lead you to Him. 

“There Is A Message in My Heart for You” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

There is a message in my heart for you.  It is written by my Lord, Jesus Christ.  He compels me to render this message to you.

You are My creation from my very own heart.

I Love you beyond all eternity.

I have made a place for you to always be with Me.

Never will you fear again,

or know of sorrow.

You will never be alone again.

You will spent  eternity in the mist of everlasting love.

Take My hand,

step into the darkness with courage.

In so doing,

will the joy of light,

be before you.

 

“That Happy Place In My Mind” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

There is a happy place in my mind.

A place of loving memories.

A place where I have experienced love from another.

It is a place that belongs to no other.

It cannot be taken from me.

The joyful light that fills that room,

cannot be clicked off by anyone.

It was a more gentle time in my life.

A time when another made me feel special.

Their words were kind,

their touch was with love.

It is the place I am,

when you ask me,

“what are you thinking?”

You see,

in this place there is no meanest,

no words of hurt upon my soul,

no seeming lack of thought.

You created this special place for me.

It was built word by word by you.

Words of discouragement.

Words of anger.

Words of bitterness.

Finally you reached a point,

that you completedly ripped out my heart.

In this place,

I again,

find my heart.

A heart that now remembers,

what it was like,

to be truly loved,

by another.

“The Lord Is Always There For Me” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming poetry book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

The Lord is always there for me.

When the darkest of days,

overcame me,

the Lord taught me patience.

He rendered me courage,

and finally brought

sunshine back into my life.

The Lord is always there for me.

When sorrow broke my heart,

in the lost of a loved one,

He spoke gently to me of

the eternity before me,

an eternity to be rejoined again,

with my lost love.

The Lord is always there for me.

When all those who I counted as my friends,

turned from me,

the Lord stood firm in His Love for me.

He taught me that heaven would not be

a crowded place,

but a place filled with all those,

of good heart with a beautiful soul,

who always loved me,

through this earthly life.

The Lord is always there for me.

What a love I truly have in Jesus,

in the Lord always being there for me.

“If I Must Go, and You Will Stay” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

If I must go,

and you will stay.

If it be,

but a little while.

I take with me,

the feel of your lips,

upon mine.

The smell of your hair.

The gentle sound of your breathe.

The yearning press of your body,

against mine.

Hold the belief,

my dear one,

that this earth,

will fall away.

In so doing,

will eternity,

be our forever,

home.  

“My Poetry is not really Sad” copyright 2009 John J. Rigo, upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

She said my poetry was sad.

Sometimes I cry when I read it.

Much of it is happy memories;

the reaching back is what is hard.

I close my eyes and squeeze my mind.

Remembering every detail.

Each smell, each touch, each feeling,

in those memories.

Youth has no appreciation for its time.

I know that now.

I miss the loves of the past.

Not so much the individuals,

as much as the beauty of those moments.

Happiness, like flashes of thunder in a horizon.

Blinking fireflies in a warm summer night,

watching a full moon lowering itself in the night.

Kisses that lingered, long past the actual kiss in sweetness.

Youth still abides in me upon a lined and scarred face of time.

Oh hasten Heaven, for surely that is where my youth,

now resides.